Dear Jen Vachon
I just wanted to say
As I write this
That the names you called me
No longer hurt me
But inspire me
To be a better person
Dear Jen Vachon
I just want to say
As I writing this that
You were horrible
You thought you were
Smarter than me
But the tables have turned.
Dear Jen Vachon
I just wanted to say
As I write this
That I forgive you
For Allah forgives us.
Dear ex boyfriend
You ruined my love life
I cannot find a girl friend because
Of your fucked up actions.
Dear ex boyfriend
You ruined my self esteem
By...
Screwing ever girl on this
Fucking planet.
Really!!!!
Your penis must hurt
And you be diseased.
Stupid.
Dear ex boyfriend
You ruined
My legal freedoms
And human rights
By having your mom
Threaten me with Gitmo.
You just made a detour
In my
Mother fucking life.
Something’s killing me
It is called
Racism
Why so fucking much drama
Over skin colour
And
DNA??!!
Something’s killing me
It’s called ignorance
Why can’t
People see
Muslims as
Fellow humans.
We are no different.
Something’s killing me
It’s called littering
Why can’t you
Simply put your
Fucking shit in the garbage
Why can’t your respect
God’s creation
Something’s killing me
It is called
Stupidity
Read the qu’ran
And stop killing people
For it’s says no killing.
Something’s killing me
It’s called rudeness
Take your fucking
Car out the handicap parking
It’s rude
And I will kick your rude ass.
I watch the
Fucking news
I all I fucking see is hate
I ask my self....
Why so much hate
And
Why is it spreading
Like an outbreak of Ebola
This filovirus is called
Hate.
Tragedy.
And ingnorance.
Sigh.....
I have seen many
A beautiful thing
Example....
The Big Dipper.
Oh the perfection.
I have see many
A beautiful thing
Example....
Wildflowers.
Oh how beautiful.
I have seen many
A beautiful thing
Example....
The full moon
How round and eerie.
I have seen many
A beautiful thing
Example....
an airplane cockpit.
When wonder.
My DNA
Is world history
For it holds the beginnings
Of a world religion
And an empire.
My DNA
is world history
Where my ancestors
Fled from China in the Han dynasty
To Europe
From the oppression
Of the home land.
This is sad.
My DNA is world history
For it saw the Muslim side
Of the crusades
And other holy wars
In history
My DNA
Is world history
For it saw the raise of the
Ottoman Empire
And it’s fall.
My DNA is world history
For it saw and experienced
Many a thing
I am a museum.
Lo! I am the moon
A beacon of light in the night
How you want capture
Lo! I am moon
You want to take a picture
Of my bright beauty
Lo! I am moon
Nothing can hide me...not clouds.
You know this Buddhist quote.
“Three things cannot be hidden....
The sun, moon and the truth.”
I see the Big Dipper
And I see me
Is it looks back at me
Is this an out of body experience
Then I realize
I have to decorate
And beautify
My body.
Then I wake up.....
A spiritual vision.
The mystery of the
Big Dipper
Has made me
Ask questions.
How was it created?
Why so beautiful?
And so freaking perfect?
What a constellation to look
At
And to think about.
I thirst for you love
Your touch
Your kiss
But you were only a dream.
A fantasy.
Sigh....
“If you believe that you have your daylight and your sun then don’t ask for my night or my moon”
I thought
When I said good bye
To you
We were too different.
I was a dower person
Trying fight
A war in my head.
And you were a happy person.
So normal.
It couldn’t work.
We made love on
A Persian rug
You were the crown prince
Of Saudi Arabia
And I was just a pilgrim
Who was supposed
To be in Mecca.
But instead I am in your arms.
The heat and pleasure
You gave me....
Intense
We kissed
Then I woke up
It was just a dream
Sigh....
The water is great
Not too cold not too hot... right.
The goldfish swims happily.
I see bubbles in my future
Big and round and perfect
Little
Pieces of art
I see flowers in my future
Big and beautiful
A sign
That god loves me
I see jackolanterns
In my future
I guess Halloween
And fun
Are near
Trick or treating
Under the autumn Dipper
I see snow in my future
Nothing
But bleak white
And intense cold
I want to get out of the house.
Hey you
Yeah... you
Whenever I talk to
You
I turn green
Whenever I talk
To my cute little
air plants
They turn green
I think we have a problem that needs to be fixed
How could you do this to me.
Dear head
Please please stop aching
The stress will be over
Soon
Or maybe I was too hot
Taking long walks
In the hot summer days.
Either way
It’s time for a Diet Coke.
Tall and cold.
The head of mine
Aches like a bastard
Maybe it knows
There is drama tomorrow
Alas there is
And Lo!!
I am pisssed.
I just want to do my
Flipping art.
I hear the classical music
Making sure that
It’s not
That loud
But then I heard
Thunder
But not over the music
Thank god for
Small mercies
Two of my favourite things
In one night.
I am an airplane
But not just
Any airplane
But a jumbo jet
A DC-10 to be exact
Flying gracefully in the sky
The geisha dances
The Big Dipper
Is shining and twinkling
Bright and clearly
As the f word.
The Dipper
Looks as if I could touch it
But alas I cannot.
Sigh.....
I see a jumbo jet
Flying in the distant sky
How I wish to fly
I see a jumbo jet
And I dream of being a pilot
Flying others to and from.
I see sun flowers
Swaying in the summer breeze
Heralding the autumn
Can’t wait to see the autumn Dipper
The Dipper is getting lower in the sky
I see roses
Being exchanged
By two lovers
On a romantic date
In the middle of winter
The Dipper is low.
The cherry blossoms
Are in full bloom
And it is warm out
I am taking pictures
Of the blossoms
The Dipper is in the middle
Of the sky.
Nils invites me
To go for a swim
What a good friend
It’s hot out
So I accept.
The swim was refreshing.
The Dipper is high in the sky.
I look up to the Big Dipper
For that is where
God lives
Asking for mercy
For I am down on my luck
I look up to the Big Dipper
For that is where
God lives
Asking for patience
For others
Alas...I have PTSD and ADHD
And I need patience.
I look up to the Big Dipper
For that is where
God lives
Asking for happiness
For I am depressed and suicidal.
I look up to Big Dipper
For that is where
God lives
Asking to be loved
For I have never
Experienced real love.
There’s this girl
With only
Sadness and hate in her
Heart
Unable to do anything
A crippling depression
There’s this girl
Who has flashbacks
All the time
Scary and emotional
A crippling PTSD
There’s this girl
Who has
Nightmares
All night and every night
About terrorists
Sleepless.
A crippling insomnia
There’s this girl
Who has crying fits
All the time
24/7
A clinical depression
That won’t end.
I hate the fact
That my brain
Like a DC-10
Is hijacked
By jerks and losers
Making me emotional
Soon the DC-10
Will go down
And I shall sob endlessly
This is what
Loss feels like.
Some jerk
Trying to be nice
Asked me
“How are you doing?”
And I say “kif-kif ”
And tell him to fuck off.
Sigh
As I said....
Kif-kif
Same old same old.
I wake up
It’s the fucking morning
Another fucking day
Sigh
I was hoping to be
In paradise
Oh how I dream of paradise
And emotional peace
But fuck it
That person ruined my life.
The stars are shapeshifting
Like fractals on my iPod
I cannot believe.
